Reawards.
I would like to bestow additional awards on the three venues dubbed as "The New Black" of 2003. Ahem:

"THE NEW BLACK AWARD (three-way tie)
and we’re off, my good man, TNB of ’03:
soho house
lever house
schiller’s"

Soho House receives the "I only know people who have been here, but haven't ever actually been myself, because god knows, who the fuck is going to invite me? and besides, what the fuck would I wear to Soho House, I mean, what does one wear to Soho House? But I feel as though chuck taylors wouldn't go unnoticed...not that I think about this shit. I mean, who cares? Soho House is stupid. I wouldn't want to go anyway, so don't bother inviting me" award.

To Lever House, I give the "Wow, that place seems really beautiful, from all the, ya know, like pictures and stuff, but jesus, it's a little far uptown to, you know, like, actually go to, right?" award.

And last but certainly not least, Schiller's, my favorite and yours, is given the "That place is cool. It even looks cool. Everyone inside it always looks cool. I should go there. Maybe if I went there all the time, I would turn cool? Nah, the line's too long. Instead, I will be satisfied by consistently making references to Schillers, occasionally slipping in the fact that I knew all about it way before it opened and I could list off all of the celebrity-types that have ever entered the goddamn building, and hence, can't you see how ironic and cool I am. I am so cool, I don't have to go to Schiller's. I don't need Schiller's. Fuck you, Schiller's"...ahem...award.

The Pretentious Little One-Pager [via slny]
- posted by liz @ 12/18/2003 09:55:00 AM