Happy Anniversary to me!
It's been a whole year of this shit. Goddamn, that's a lot of procrastination. Ah well. Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Anniversary, and happy food coma to everyone. And by everyone, I mean you, mom.

ANNYway... a little home-for-the-holidays update, completely devoid of correct grammar, punctuation and/or spelling:

I went to the mall last night to see spongebob squarepants with my cousin. i have never seen so much white trash in my life. let me give you a little fashion update:
apparently, in massachusetts, gigantic pants and skater shoes are still in style. additionally, many young men are still working that fetching columbine-trenchcoat look. every 14-year-old girl is incredibly overweight and 9 out of 10 is wearing flip-flops with a puffy down parka, accessorized with a lip ring and an extra large mountain dew in a plastic souvenir cup from taco bell in the food court. every old lady is absolutely massive. every old man is absolutely massive. their clothes are circa jerry's parents on seinfeld. think pants too high, think synthetic fabrics that potentially cause tumors in the wearer. all of the mom-types have fake nails. all of them. (thankfully, my mom has just retired her 25-year stint with acrylic finery times 10...). they also have fake blond hair (ubiquitous curling-iron use apparent), high-rise jeans of the stonewashed variety, and white (white!) tennis/gym sneakers and/or keds. yes! keds! this place is a virtual museum of american history, 1991-1993. It's pretty amazing. Oh yeah, and everyone. EVERYONE, with the exception of the one asian lady who offers up pieces of chicken on toothpicks in front of the jumbalaya grill (nope, not kidding), is white. and most likely catholic. and most likely of irish descent. it is so creepy. it's like a timewarp into ickiness. i can't believe this is where i grew up.

Today my mom is making me go with her to the michael's craft store so that she may purchase entirely too many fake branches and pieces of "greenery" and boughs of holly covered in fake chrystals of snow to stick up all over her mauve and sage-colored living room so that it might look more "festive." I will sit back and try not to make snide comments while i work my way through a fourth bottle of beaujolais (le beaujolais!!) and the rest of the peach pie. I would be working my way through the pumpkin, but mom bought that one from the culinary arts department at the school where she works and the young gourmands appear to have substituted salt for sugar. not so delicious. whatever.

last I came home exceptionally drunk, after seeing 4 friends from high school (all engaged, one now divorced with 16 kids who, one who hit on me relentlessly and kept using the phrase "i'm so drunk, you're so gorgeous") and I managed to plow through a vat of marinated mushrooms and the rest of the butternut squash. I think I gave my number to one of that guy. in fact, i seem to recall screeching "we're SO doing lunch tomorrow! you live with your parents still right??"
- posted by liz @ 11/27/2004 01:55:00 PM